Friends… I’ve been humbled. In last week’s recap, I boldly stated that I have what it takes to run a business, deluded once again by the Roy siblings’ general incompetence. Well, this week Jesse Armstrong brought me back down to earth, because I’ll be honest with you: I had no clue what was going on.
But I am a dedicated fan, friend, and recapper. So, borrowing from the immortal words of Gina Rodriguez, I sat down and said, “mama, let’s research!”
As my big business brain now understands it, the central Waystar Royco management-related conflict of the episode is that the board votes tomorrow on whether to sell to Lukas Mattson (Alexander Skarsgård), current CEO of GoJo. This deal should give the siblings enough money to complete their purchase of PGM (and would give Connor the ability to finally cut himself free from involvement in the family business); however, they’re getting pressure from Sandi and Stewy to vote “no” on the acquisition to push Mattson to renegotiate for a higher sum.
Jargon aside, we all know that the business is really beside the point in Succession. Much like the Fast & Furious franchise: it’s all about family. So what dynamics is the business covering up in the season’s second episode?
We find our core three siblings at yet another location — someplace mountainous this time — continuing to scheme against Logan. While plotting, Shiv gets a call from her assistant, who informs her that the top five divorce attorneys in Manhattan are unable to represent her, as Tom has either called or retained all of them. Shiv is furious at what she believes is evidence that her own father is advising her soon-to-be-ex-husband against her. But it’s also plausible that Tom just watched Marriage Story. I know he’s a Noah Baumbach guy — or at least pretends to be one at parties. (In the end, Shiv is right. It was Logan).
She calls Tom to yell at him, but he’s too busy to argue — Logan has just arrived unannounced at ATN headquarters. Or as Greg puts it, he’s “terrifyingly moseying” around the newsroom floor. Logan is a bit piqued by the work ethic he’s seeing there. For instance, he watches a man work for about one minute, then snidely remarks to him, “One email… please, don’t exhaust yourself.” I refuse to even enter the headspace of imagining what he would say to me about my own emailing speed.
The focal point of this scene is Logan’s rousing speech to the ATN staff, but before we get there, I must say a word about Tom. I don’t know what school of shade he went to in between seasons, but from last week’s instantly iconic “ludicrously capacious bag” to him telling Logan this week that Cyd “doesn’t tend to stay late when it’s opera season,” Tom is slinging the subtlest yet thorniest barbs left and right. I’m sure he’s learned a lot about insults from his in-laws, but recently he’s added a spice to it that’s completely his own.
Alright — to the main event. After a lackluster attempt from Tom to “sprinkle a little sugar,” Logan steps up on his hilariously tiny dais of printer paper to give a pump-up speech. And, um, it is a SPEECH. I think one of this season’s overarching themes is “Brian Cox is in our cast, let us give him the meatiest possible material.” Well this is one of those moments. He calls on the newsroom to create headlines that are “so fucking spicy, so true” that it will have their competitors in shock — which I’m taking to mean that he’s telling his staff to be as offensive as possible for the views. This is Fox News ATN after all. By the end of his speech, he’s got the room so under his spell that he could pretty much say anything. And he does, ending on, “You’re fucking pirates!” Sure!
There’s some additional drama behind the scenes at ATN, in what is now one of my favorite subplots of the series: Kerry is auditioning to be an anchor. Logan is making it clear that he is “not involved” (read: he is absolutely involved and wants her to get what she wants because they are *cough/gag* sexually involved). Somehow her audition tape makes the rounds to every character on this show, and I’m not entirely sure which is funnier, the Roy siblings laughing and making fun of her or Hugo having to cast his laptop screen onto a conference room TV in front of Logan while he’s in mid-play of the video. Ultimately, it comes down to poor Greg to break the news to Kerry that she’s going to need a lot of work before she can ever be on screen. He uses a fake focus group to shift blame for the decision, to which she replies “if this focus group isn’t real, I’m gonna take you apart like a human string cheese.” Greg telling himself, “I did the job” — peak delusion. Even more than me.
Things are going about as well for the Roy kids as they are for Kerry. First, Logan grounds their private helicopter causing immense stress for Kendall’s beleaguered assistant, Jess (save her!), and causing Kendall to start quoting Buddhism, which, LOL.
They therefore arrive in New York City very late for Connor’s wedding rehearsal dinner — but are waylaid even further by a surprise visit from Stewy and Sandi, who have tracked them down to try and convince them that there’s more money to be gotten out of the GoJo sale if they delay at the morning’s board meeting. Okay, well it’s a surprise to most of them — in fact, Shiv has been brokering this meet with Sandi, as she is secretly on team get-more-from-GoJo.
The trio then run into Willa, who’s on her way out of her own rehearsal dinner early — “everything feels very vivid today, doesn’t it,” she says — and finally find Connor, who is simply a mess. Willa apparently had said in her toast that she couldn’t “do this,” (this being, presumably, the wedding). In a rare moment of caring, the Roy siblings decide to go out drinking at a dive bar with their eldest brother — giving us the iconic line from Shiv: “House red? Do I dare?”
While they’re tracking Willa across a path of seemingly random storefronts in Williamsburg on Connor’s phone, Kendall gets a call from a Cheeto-eating Mattson. The Swede reveals to him that he’ll walk away from the deal if he gets pushed any further in the negotiations. Which prompts Kendall to return to the bar and join Shiv’s side — vote no in tomorrow’s board negotiation (but with the secret knowledge that this will completely torpedo the deal, thus ruining Logan). Kendall is nothing if not consistent with a grudge! After some name calling (including Roman saying that he, Shiv and Kendall are members of The Beatles, while Connor is still Connor but he won the chance to meet them at auction), the group finally agrees to vote no.
Connor has just one more request: to sing karaoke with his siblings. They rent a room, Connor immediately wants to queue up “Desperado” by The Eagles, which, of course. He then reveals that he’s invited Logan to join them at karaoke. As much as I desperately need to see a Roy sibling quartet of “You Oughta Know,” this is clearly not in the cards.
I will never recover from seeing Logan Roy walking through the pink and purple lights of the karaoke bar after Connor’s soul-crushing rendition of a Leonard Cohen song. But he does, and the first full Roy family showdown takes place in those lights, in that karaoke room.
Logan wants them to have a fresh start by voting through the GoJo deal. He would have ATN, they would have PGM, they could go their separate ways. When that doesn’t work, he attempts an apology. But it’s a bit too little, too late — as Shiv says, “There is nothing you could say to me now, that I could ever believe.” The kids take him to task, asking him to name exactly what he’s apologizing for. Kendall has no problem coming up with specific examples, such as his abandonment of Connor and his physical abuse of Roman. It’s sad to see those two try to downplay these offenses in the moment — they’re entangled in the damage Logan has done to them and still wanting to have his approval. Finally, after they share that they’re going to vote no, Logan gives up: “I love you, but you are not serious people.” I hate it when I agree with Logan. But really whose fault is it that the Roy kids are the way they are?
He leaves, and the kids are left in the aftermath. They attempt to console Connor as he rises to see if Willa is at home waiting for him, or gone forever. To which he replies, in truly devastating fashion, “The good thing about having a family that doesn’t love you is you learn to live without it… I don’t need love. It’s like a superpower.” I’ve never been a Conhead myself, but this moment is heartbreaking.
Fortunately for him, he does return to find Willa waiting in their bed. It may not be a happy marriage they are starting, but it will be a marriage.
There’s one more surprise in store. Earlier, at the dive bar, the siblings confronted Roman for sending Logan a birthday text, which has now seemingly put them back in touch. He manages to fend them off, but it seems they were onto something, as he shows up at his father’s apartment in the final scene. Logan reveals he’s delayed the board meeting, and would like Roman to accompany him to speak with Mattson the next day, telling his son, “I need you.” Logan is a master puppeteer of his children. Time to see if Roman can hold his own.
