Madonna Lives, Grave Recipes and Vampire Ballads

Orly Minazad
Orly Minazad is a freelance writer and regrets it every day of her life. She moved to the States from Iran in 1991 with her family seeking better opportunities only to waste them earning a Masters in Professional Writing degree from USC which no longer exists, cost a lot of money, and for which she has nothing to show. No, she is not bitter at all. Why do you ask? Oh, you didn’t, ok. She lives with her husband and son in Los Angeles where she spends the day loading and unloading the dishwasher.

RIP to Alan Arkin, who I forgot (or didn’t even know) was in Edward Scissorhands. (The Guardian)

At least we still have Madonna, who was in the ICU after she was found unresponsive due to a bacterial infection. Can you imagine losing her during Pride month of all times? No, thanks. (Healthline)

The last thing I want to think about when I’m dead is feeding people. Don’t come looking for a recipe on my grave. I will haunt you.

Social media influencers got backlash for partnering up with Shein, a fast fashion clothing store with “fabric” and “glitter” listed as material, to show that they are definitely not a sweatshop guilty of labor and environmental abuse. Nothing to see here. Everyone is happy and normal. (Vice)

The OceanGate submersible tragedy gave the submarine horror video game Iron Lung a big boost in sales. You all need Jesus. (Kotaku)

There is a Sriracha shortage and bottles are going as high as $124 on Amazon but I’ll sell you my half-empty one for just $50. Hit me up. (CNN)

I don’t care how pointless and trashy Hulu’s docuseries The Ashley Madison Affair will be. I’m all in. (Pajiba)

The Supreme Court has ruled against affirmative action in college admissions, which means privileged white men finally have a chance to make it in this country. God bless. (AP News)

See? This is exactly why I don’t eat salads. You never know if there’s going to be tire particles in it. Stay safe out there, eat donuts. (Inhabitat)

What the hell is going on with people throwing things at musicians while they’re performing on stage? Soon artists will be performing behind plexiglass. (Rolling Stone)

Dominos is killing the pizza game not by being the best (or even mediocre), but by making it super convenient to get pizza delivered. Now you don’t even need an address. (Nerdist)

Number one draft pick Victor Wembanyama is officially 7 feet, 3½ inches. WITHOUT SHOES. (ESPN)

McDonald’s released a purple shake in honor of Grimace’s birthday and in true Gen Z fashion they’ve turned it into a viral TikTok trend. (Forbes)

I was today years old when I learned Canada had a “Chinese Exclusion Act” exactly one hundred years ago. Now there’s a new Chinese Canadian museum in Vancouver trying hard to make up for those times. (Bloomberg)

The Other Two has been canceled after allegations of a toxic work environment. More on the season 3/series finale from our resident explainer of Midwestern things, Emily Chambers. (The Antagonist)

If this is what AI thinks an average person from the 50 states looks like, I don’t think we’re in danger of it taking over anytime soon. (My Modern Met)

I’ve started watching Season one of The Bear and I’m here to bequeath you a list of all the dishes they made and the recipes. Go with God. (Eating Well)

Season 2 is out for those of you who did not slack on season 1

Can someone explain ad blockers to me and how I can use them to skip ads on YouTube, which is now threatening to disable videos if you don’t watch a full Walmart ad? (The Verge)

Thank God I’m old or I’d be broke trying to follow Olivia Rodrigo around the globe. Her latest single “Vampire” includes some elegant Taylor Swift-esque ex-bashing. (Pitchfork)

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