Hollywood Strikers Risk Losing Healthcare and Celebs Are Auctioning Off the Most Random Crap to Save It

Dustin Waters
Dustin Waters is a writer from Macon, Ga, currently living in D.C. After years as a beat reporter in the Lowcountry, he now focuses his time on historical oddities, trashy movies, and the merits of professional wrestling.

It makes sense that medical dramas have become such a staple of American television. It’s likely the only way most folks are going to be able to see a doctor. 

Yes, that’s right, we’re talking about healthcare, the ongoing Hollywood strikes, and the odd lengths to which actors are going to support their crews. So let’s scrub in and diagnose this whole debacle, stat. 

As you probably know the film and television industry is currently in the midst of its largest strike in decades. Members of the Writers Guild of America put down their pens in early May, and the actors’ union, aka SAG-AFTRA, put down their… acting hats… in July. 

Since that time, some celebs have gone to great lengths to support their fellow artists. Dwayne Johnson chipped in with what was described as the largest single donation ever given by an individual, dropping a “seven-figure” contribution to SAG-AFTRA’s Emergency Financial Assistance and Disaster Relief Fund. 

The Rock’s willingness to redistribute wealth is no surprise to those who recall when he finished off opponents with a move called “The People’s Elbow.” A modern-day Eugene Debs if ever there was one. 

Discussing Johnson’s incredible contribution with Variety, SAG-AFTRA Foundation Executive Director Cyd Wilson said, “The general public might think that all actors make millions of dollars, and there are some that do but it’s a very small percentage. … [T]hese people are making, you know, not enough money to even afford their healthcare. So the majority of our actors also have second and third jobs — they’re waiting tables, catering, driving Uber.”

That article also raises the interesting statistic that “87% of the SAG-AFTRA membership does not reach the threshold of making $26,000 a year from SAG-AFTRA jobs to qualify for health insurance.” So how does this all work? Thankfully someone has the answer. 

The LAist and KFF Health News broke down just how healthcare access works for members of the Writers and Actors guilds. And to tell you the truth, it’s pretty absurd. 

The article states, “The health insurance offered by both unions is predicated on the notion that it is for members who work consistently and lucratively enough to make a minimum amount of money. That makes the insurance difficult first to attain and then to sustain. In exchange, it is very, very good health insurance.”

Looking beyond the logical cesspool that you wade through when considering that people with no money shouldn’t have access to healthcare, what is required for the writers and actors to maintain coverage? 

Well, as was mentioned earlier, actors need to make a minimum of $26,000 a year. Also, residuals can be included in this annual total, which is why actors are so passionate about streaming platforms forking over what they owe. 

Unfortunately for those in the Writers Guild, residuals do not count toward their required annual earnings required to maintain health coverage. Also this annual goal is much higher compared to actors, sitting around $42,000.

Caught up in all this are the dedicated film crews who find themselves out of work during the duel strikes. This year the Union Solidarity Coalition was founded to help support crew members who have lost health insurance as a result of strike-related shutdowns. What makes this interesting is that the organization’s most notable effort is this wild celebrity auction that is currently ongoing. 

Of course, it includes your traditional signed memorabilia and virtual meet-and-greets. But here’s a look at some of the more interesting prizes waiting to be won. 

Natasha Lyonne Will Help You Solve the New York Times Sunday Crossword

Current bid: $3,757

That’s right, Columbo herself will help you solve the Gray Lady’s renowned crossword puzzle. No, I do not know what this entails, but it will be a Zoom call.

The Cast of Bob’s Burgers Will Sing a Song Written Just for You

Current bid: $7,000

Yep, they will make up a whole-ass song for you.

Bob Odenkirk & David Cross Will Join you for Dinner

Current bid: $9,100

OK, this is more than a Zoom call. If you can make it to New York or Los Angeles, this considerable duo will join you for a full meal. 

Adam Scott Walks Your Dog for 1-HR (LA-Based Doggies Only)

Current bid: $2,500

That’s not a bad bloody price for a dog walker in LA, amirite?! 

Fedora Owned and Signed by the Legendary Tom Waits

Current bid: $2,600

For about the current price of a one-hour dog walk in Los Angeles, you could have Tom Waits’ hat. Maybe if you put it on a snowman, it will come to life and sing you a song about sweeping floors at a carnival saloon and stabbing a parole officer with a rusty harmonica. 

So there you go, everybody. We covered a lot today. But you know who’s not covered? The striking writers and actors who deserve to be fairly compensated for their work that entertains so many of us. And distracts us from the ever-looming economic anxiety that allows those at the top of the system to exploit our labor and turn us against one another. 

With that said, I am off to bid $5,000 to take a pottery class with Busy Philipps

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