As someone who’s never liked Jimmy Fallon, this article about how horrible it was to work for him is not surprising to me. (Rolling Stone)
Danny Masterson was just sentenced to 30 years in prison for rape. Pro-tip: Don’t rape. (Variety)
I still have not processed the Britney Spears divorce and now we have the Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner drama. If you ask me, it’s all his fault. No man ever works this hard to show he’s doing the minimum as a father if he’s not scared to death. (Page Six)
Sidenote, what? how? HOW?
So, Burning Man. Good to see a natural disaster and all that mess left behind didn’t stop this person from having a great time. (Insider)
This is the kind of breakdown for a show I want. I want to know exactly what I’m in for when I start The Night Agent. (The Antagonist)
The story of the Tabis has been the most confusing for me. What happened exactly? I still don’t know, and why would anyone go through all this to steal such ugly shoes? (New York Times)
Stray is a cat video game that is now going to be adapted into an animated film because that’s what it deserves. (Variety)
I was told the NFL season starts tonight and I couldn’t be more happy for no one. I don’t care. But here’s a 2023 NFL preview for those of you whose personality is football. (Defector)
The best thing about this Jenner/Chalamet make out session at the Beyoncé concert is the psycho fans overreacting to it all, including the smoking. (Pajiba)
This one goes out to all you romantics who are not dead inside (yet).
Anyway, go and get your Shrek Crocs Classic Clog while they last. (Complex)
They’ll go with your green Mountain Dew Baja Blast Gelato from Taco Bell. (Nerdist)
The most interesting part of the story about a murderer escaping jail by scaling the wall is that he is 5 feet tall. Never underestimate a short king. (AP News)
I don’t mean to sound melodramatic, but as someone who lives in LA and does not do public transportation, I’m moved by Willy Spiller’s photo documentary of the New York Subway in the ’70s and ’80s. So much human contact. I couldn’t do it. (My Modern Met)
I have been obsessed with this guy and his impersonation of every Middle Eastern immigrant parent.
Good news and bad news. You can keep your plastic straws because turns out paper straws contain Per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances, a/k/a “forever chemicals” so either way we’re all going to die a horrible slow death. (Core77)
Rotten Tomatoes, I trusted you! I’ll never again check your ratings first so I know whether to like something or not. (Collider)
Just when you think Tucker Carlson can’t get worse, he interviews a toothless conman who claims to have had sex with Barack Obama. I’m sorry, sir, but if Obama was gay, he could have done better than you. (Boing Boing)
I’m putting this here as a warning to all the spiders in my house – and the family of the scorpion I killed in my living room who I know are hiding – that I have no qualms smooshing you all with a paper towel.
