I try to get everyone I know to watch Patriot on Amazon.
Because it’s a masterpiece. Truly brilliant.
Despite that, I often have trouble convincing them to break the ice because it’s 100% the worst-named show in the history of television. It’s certainly the worst-named masterpiece I can think of. Usually when you make a once-in-a-lifetime, tour-de-force show, you have a decent moniker for it. This one feels like the name was tacked on in the 11th hour by a development bot. Because people hear ‘Patriot’ …on Amazon and they hear Amazon. And nobody likes Amazon.
But you can’t just say ‘Patriot’ or you end up with this guy, and nobody likes this guy.
So right out of the gate, people are like…no thanks.
Because even if you get them past these two mental images, they assume that a show called ‘Patriot’ might be about either one of these guys.
And, again, nobody likes these guys.
If you miraculously get past all of these barriers, a show called ‘Patriot’ might very well be a retread of a show about this guy:
And, the Jim of it all notwithstanding, less and less people like that guy.
Even fewer people like missiles. Patriot missiles. Which is what this show might also be about, right? People buying and selling Patriot missiles?
Thankfully, that’s not what Patriot on Amazon is about.
If you somehow, miraculously, get past all of that, all of the various hidden meanings of the term and the inferred division about what the definition of a Patriot is, and more importantly, what the definition of a Patriot is not, you land in this hellscape, full of imbeciles and jingoistic, lost fools.
So people imagine ‘Patriot’ might be about guys like this:
And yeahhhhhhhh. Nobody has time for that shit. I aged a week just looking at pictures of those guys for this article.
Look at what we’ve had to wade through because of a couple of words. Is it any wonder that people have a hard time getting to the show itself?
Patriot does, in fact, deal with someone affiliated with the government, albeit in an unofficial capacity.
It follows the character of John Lakeman, an operative so destroyed by the stress and isolation and lack of support that he ends up writing detailed folk songs about his missions to cope.
So when I’m pitching this dark comedy to people and they’re imagining missiles, this is what I’m actually trying to sell them.
And look at these gorgeous title card sequences, custom made for every season one episode.
For a more detailed look at what the show actually is, read what I wrote when it first came out.
You can also listen to the gorgeous soundtrack, beginning with Vashti Bunyan’s haunting ‘Train Song.’
Give Patriot 3 minutes and if it doesn’t grab you by then, it’s probably not the show for you. Three minutes. That’s all you’ll need.
And if you’re absolutely hell bent on not watching it no matter how much I beg and plead, then at least enjoy this sequence from Patriot season two. It’s known as the Martin Tidy sequence, after the name of the song. Once John arrives at his destination, it’s a single tracking shot (presented in two youTube videos), with no dialogue except a perfunctory greeting from the shop owner, as John Lakeman’s inner monologue is played over the top in the form of a folk song.
Martin Tidy Lyrics
I guess I got to get this fucked up thing done
First, I have to get a gun
From some guy I picked at random
Shit, he looks like a nice guy
His gun’s probably just in a drawer
In his little French grocery store
Man, I could maybe just snag it
Without a lot of goddamn drama
Who knows, maybe this will be easy
And I could have an hour off to feel easy
‘Cause there’s some heavy-duty stuff soon
Like breaking into an armed compound
Fighting guys in crazy suits
And probably a dog, too
You’d think I could just breeze into
This guy’s grocery, stroll past the chips and
Lift his gun then cruise out
Nice and easy
Maybe I’m fucking crazy
But this could be easy
And in the sweet hour after
I could even have beers with my friends
Probably there’s cool wine bars and shit
Around here where we can sit
And just shoot the breeze about the weather
And maybe girls
Respectfully
I already asked my three friends to meet me
Around here ’cause this is gonna be
Easy goddamn it to take this sweet-faced grocer’s gun
Man, he has a sweet face
Man that shit that was so fucked up
And sure wasn’t easy
Holy shit, we all can get arrested here
Any second
I’m telling my friends to act like
Everything’s cool and nothing happened
But I’m pretty fucking sure
I don’t have two of my fingers
Also, I think Dennis lost some
He’s behind me here and I hear him crying
Probably we’re not going to a wine bar
I don’t like songs about trains
There’s just too many in my opinion
But goddamn, I hope a train
Pulls into this fucking station
And that train has to roll up soon
In like fifteen fucking seconds
You can hear John’s hopefulness and optimism trying to make the situation better as he coaches himself to keep pushing on in the face of daunting odds. It’s crushing for fans of the show and fans of Lakeman. There’s never been a TV show where the entire fan base is united in yearning for the lead character to just get the tiniest break. Just a little break. We all just want John to feel double good for once.
And you will too, if you give it a chance.
Give Patriot 3 minutes and if it doesn’t grab you by then, it’s probably not the show for you. Three minutes. That’s all you’ll need.
Watch two seasons of Patriot on Amazon Prime, starting with episode one, “Milwaukee, America”.
