**Mild spoilers for Emily in Paris Season 3. Proceed at your own risk.**
Emily in Paris is back! You can watch season three of the show everyone loves to hate on Netflix right now, and you don’t even have to feel guilty about it–pretty much the entire world acknowledges that this show is bad, and also that’s it’s a blast. So binge away!
In season three, Covid has apparently still not happened, nor has the fire that devastated Notre Dame. Paris is as enchanting as ever, Emily is as infuriating as ever, the clothes are even more ridiculous than before, and the plotlines just as unbelievable. But, alas, the romance at the heart of it all–that sexy, will they-or-won’t-they relationship between Emily and her downstairs neighbor Gabriel–has lost its zing.
It’s a tricky business, the will-they-or-won’t-they. Every romance writer knows it well. This is the bread and butter of love stories, a classic of the genre. It always works, and if you have characters with chemistry–or actors with chemistry–it absolutely sizzles. Why? Because it’s just like sex. It’s all about teasing, taking things to the brink…and pulling back. Then doing it again. And again. It keeps the characters wanting more, and so we want more right along with them.
But just like sex, sometimes it goes on for too long. And when that happens, well, you can…lose the magic, let’s say.
Often, in an attempt to drag things out and keep the ratings high, a show will throw too many stupid obstacles in the way of the W-T-O-W-T couple, and the sheer annoyance of it ruins the chemistry. That’s not what happened with Emily and hot chef Gabriel, though. Their only obstacle ever has been the fact that he’s in a relationship with Emily’s friend Camille, and has been since before Emily even met him. But for some reason that just isn’t working anymore.
We used to like Camille, making her an interesting complication. But she hatched a plot with her mother to win Gabriel’s love back from Emily in season two, by creating a pact that neither woman would date him–and then breaking it. She lost our good will there, and in season three she’s gotten worse. Getting your longtime boyfriend back by any means necessary is at least understandable. But holding a grudge against the friend you stabbed in the back to do it, which she does against Emily, is extra bitchy. Emily continues to be open and friendly to Camille, so why is Camille still angry? Plus, Camille embarks on an affair with someone else. What happened to this formerly sweet character? Her behavior sours the love triangle, making it bitter. She doesn’t deserve Gabriel anymore, and what fun is that?
Meanwhile, Emily’s new(ish) boyfriend, Alfie the sassy Brit, is still around in season three, and getting better every episode. His character deepens and becomes far more engaging than the arrogant finance bro he was in season two. This season he demonstrates depth by not only opening up to Emily, but by setting clear emotional boundaries as well. He refuses to be taken for granted and he stands up for her when Mindy’s asshole boyfriend tries to cut her down. Alfie is fantastic! He’s good for Emily. Even Gabriel thinks so.
To cap it all off, Gabriel himself is lacking a certain je ne sais quoi this season. He began the show as a handsome, almost rakishly self-assured guy. He was hot and he knew it. While he was tortured by his attraction to Emily, given his commitment to Camille, he didn’t let that stop him from openly flirting with her. He wanted his own restaurant on his own terms, and he wanted Emily. It was all sexy. But this season, he’s living with Camille and behaving like an old married man. He works all the time, never has fun, and only occasionally makes cow eyes at Emily. No flirting, no heat, no passion even when he talks about his dream of having a Michelin star restaurant. Plus, his hair is always flat and his clothes are, dare I say it, dorky. What has happened to our hot French chef?
To sum up, Emily’s got a healthy, happy relationship with a hot Brit, while her former crush is a fading workaholic being cheated on by the live-in girlfriend he actually seems to love. This is not the sexual tease metaphor we were promised. When Emily’s coworker Luc describes her and Gabriel as “will they or won’t they,” Emily replies, “they won’t.” And we believe her. More than that, we’re glad to hear it.
What was the thinking behind this new direction, I wonder? Why make Gabriel such a wet rag? It’s implied that he’s looking to the future, that he wants to settle down with a restaurant in Normandy and kids running around to give meaning to his life. But again I have to ask, what fun is that? Emily is literally dressed like a birthday cake half the time and she still expects to be forgiven for truly terrible behavior as if she’s merely a toddler who said a naughty word. In what world does pairing her with a man who wants to settle down seem like a good idea?
Luckily, the good parts of Emily in Paris are enough to carry the season–Mindy is always a treat, Alfie is electric enough to make up for Gabriel’s sudden boringness, and the goddess Sylvie gets an entire romantic arc of her own. But let’s hope that season four finds a way to right the (relation)ship at the heart of it all, or else Emily in Paris will lose its luster fast.
