I was a huge Moonlighting fan back in the day and could not wait for the re-release of the show on Hulu after the renegotiation of music rights, etc. had been sorted. Since it’s been off the air, Moonlighting has held a very sacred spot in my heart for a few reasons:
- Unless you’re a pirate, it was actually gone gone. You couldn’t see it.
- It was a constant reference point in industry meetings of an early show that cracked the code: meaning it pulled off comedy but it also had a heart.
- It was the first show that you could universally point to for any generation member older than and including Gen X where you could say: “Sexual tension is everything.” Once David and Maddie got together? Poof. The show that had been weekly crack was suddenly over.
But it’s back.
Aaaaaaaaaaand I probably wasn’t prepared for a few elements of it. So far I’m only through the 90+ minute pilot, but lest you’re about to board the SS Blue Moon, here are a few obstacles a modern viewer might have to prepare to overcome.
1. It’s SD.
As in ‘Standard Definition.’ For you kids reading this, it’s the world your pop pop used to live in. Every edge bled into the world around it. Colors flowed into each other like a Jackson Pollock painting. There were no sharp lines anywhere, just a shag carpet world seen through glasses you wore in a hot shower.
2. It’s structurally messy.
It’s just old school when the school was run by drunks. Characters are introduced willy-nilly. Motivations are suspect. Character beats are either turned up to 11 or non-existent.
3. It’s slow AF.
Ahhhh, television prior to the World Wide Web feels like you’re reading the book form of an art film. Holy shitballs there’s a lot of scenery chewing. Also, I thought people were dumb now but they hit you over the head with everything.
4. It’s sexist as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
And not in a good way. I’m kidding. There is no good way. Dudes are handsy and entitled, especially the ones we’re meant to admire. Women scream in pressure situations, and then faint into the arms of a man. Stalking is a form of wooing. It’s a fucking mess.
5. It’s full of shitty typecasting.
Outsiders and weirdos are bad. The initial bad guy has acne scars and a mohawk and drives a car that has mismatched paint. It begs the watcher to cling to normalcy, lest they become an evil weirdo.
6. The action music is synthesized hell.
In a way this is cool, but for the action sequences that take like 9 minutes it can be a bit distracting. Those same action sequences now would be like 20 seconds tops if they even existed at all. Most could be replaced by a line of dialogue or a well-placed plot clue.
7. The acting out of the gate is middling network TV cringe.
Holy moly the quality of the acting is regional theater. At least to start. Cybill Shepherd, who I remember thinking was amazing, is brutal at the start. Saying lines instead of acting them. Bruce Willis has one gear and it’s troll-level irritating to start. I’m sure they both get better because one of the things that made Moonlighting great was their interactions. But hooooo weee! That said, it was a delight to see Allyce Beasley as Agnes DiPesto again.
8. It’s dated in a dorky-ass way
The main bad buy is a tool in glasses and a shit-brown pinstriped suit who wields a switchblade. A guy gets into a glass elevator to escape pursuit. Before murdering someone, bad guys will talk to the victim. It’s like like Lou Gossett Jr. calling Richard Gere’s An Officer and a Gentleman character Zack Mayo “Mayo-naisse” as the meanest burn. Were we ever this innocent? Sheesh.
Okay, that’s about it for now. I’m sure a ninth concern will hydra its way out of the ocean to join these other eight as I continue to watch, but that’s what I’ve noticed so far. How has the rewatch been for you? Has the world moved too far past Moonlighting for it to feel worth it, or is it a piece of TV lore that deserves a modern audience? All that remains to be seen.
In the meantime, I’ll be with Booger at the water cooler.
