Coming in with a hot scoop!
Succession’s penultimate episode picks up right after the Roy family news behemoth ATN has prematurely called the presidential election in favor of their No. 1 boy, Jeryd Mencken. The ploy was immediately condemned by other news outlets, but just how much does the public know about what went down?
Well, we know it’s enough to drive protesters to the streets. But “Church and State” offers even more details for eagle-eyed viewers.
Early on in the episode we join Cousin Greg and Tom Wambsgans — the Disgusting Brothers ride again — as Tom combs through a New York Times exposé on what went down at ATN on election night. The article, titled “Behind the Controversial Call at ATN,” features a diagram and timeline linking all the key players to pivotal moments over the course of the evening.
At the top, we see Roman Roy and election prognosticator Darwin Perry, the director of the ATN Decision Desk. We know that Roman was the main instigator in the subversion of the democratic process, but Darwin was willing to sell out the voters for a little bit of on-screen time.
The Times labels Darwin as the “Flailing Handmaiden to the Wisconsin Call.” The fine print explains that while he has headed up the decision desk for the previous four presidential elections, his “authority was undermined on this election night, with those close to Mr. Perry citing the loss of his protector Cyd Peach as a key factor.”
The article continues, “Pressured by Roman Roy and, later, Mr. Wambsgans, into supporting the Wisconsin projection, Mr. Perry has since told sources that he ‘bitterly regrets’ the decision.”
One key moment highlighted among the lines of the Times’ timeline comes around 12:15 a.m. when Darwin “injures eye at critical moment.” We know this as the point where Darwin accidentally gets wasabi in his eyes, and Cousin Greg tries to wash it out with lemon fizzy water. But really only a hint of lemon.
“Another mitigating factor in Mr. Perry’s failure to push back against the Mencken call was the occurrence of a freak workplace accident which temporarily blinded Mr. Perry as the call was being deliberated,” the Times reported. “He later told colleagues that he believes the accident may have impaired his ability to think clearly in the high-stress pressure-cooker environment of election night.”
Well, in addition to being utter clown shoes, that all seems pretty damning for ATN. Let’s see what the Times had to say about the Roys.
Roman’s blurb is difficult to decipher, but it largely depicts the Waystar-Royco Co-CEO (so dumb) as an avid Mencken supporter who pushed for the network to declare a premature victory.
Next we have Shiv, whose blurb stands in stark contrast to Roman’s. She is labeled as “vehemently opposed to Mencken.” Oh, if you only knew, New York Times.
The Times also reports that the “experienced Democratic operative” often clashed with her father over politics. Although Shiv has largely slipped away from her career in politics and into the newly created position of Waystar-Royco president, she’s maintained strong ties to the Democratic candidates.
“On election night, Mrs. Roy argued strenuously against the decision to call Wisconsin for Mr. Mencken and was, according to witnesses, ‘visibly distressed’ at the unfurling of events, chastising her husband and her brothers in no uncertain terms,” the Times reports.
Of course, we know a large part of Shiv’s distress was due to her revelation to Tom that she was pregnant with his child, only to have him question it as another ploy. But also the democracy thing too.
Next we have Kendall, who is said to be a “Mencken skeptic who didn’t stop the Wisconsin call.” He’s also the greatest rapper alive, but that’s beside the point.
The Times points out that Kendall has been keen to distance himself professionally from Mencken, but adds “Mr. Roy did not openly support the Wisconsin projection on election night but neither did he argue against it. He is considered by some at ATN to be highly complicit in the final call.”
Finally, we have everyone’s favorite first pancake, Connor Roy. Connor, billed as a “late Mencken convert,” was having a rough one on election night. His support among 1 percent of voters and growing popularity in Alaska was not enough for him to carry any states — not even Kentucky. Alas.
So that’s every part of the Times piece that I could decipher. If you spot anything else, please leave it in the comments. Also, who do you think gave reporters the timeline? Greg? Gotta be Greg, right?!
I say we just give it a few years and wait for the Times to run their profile on the Roys — a bunch of devoted parents whose only crime was loving democracy too much. That, and all the other crimes.
