Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny Can Take My Money Now

Laura J. Burns
Laura J. Burns writes books, writes for TV, and sometimes writes TV based on books and books based on TV. She will never, however, write a poem. She’s the managing editor of The Antagonist.

I’m a Gen X kid. Raiders of the Lost Ark came out when I was a tween (a word that didn’t exist back then) and I saw it 12 times in the theater. Let’s just say that between Han Solo and Indy, Harrison Ford was basically my sexuality as a youngster and pretty much still is.

Did I feel betrayed when Temple of Doom ditched Marion in favor of a blond bimbo as just “the girl” in an Indiana Jones movie? You bet I did! But I still saw that movie several times, I just focused more on Short Round to make it fun. (Shout out to Ke Huy Quan, let’s keep his comeback coming back!)

The Last Crusade had the same problem, only this time “the girl” was even more forgettable, but we got Sean Connery and Harrison Ford grumpily grumping at each other and that’s a win in everybody’s book. After that, though, Harrison Ford went through his cranky years. Not his fun-cranky persona, either, but the real-cranky stuff. The years when he seemed to truly dislike the things that had made him famous because he disliked fame itself. The years when he got divorced and got an earring and married Ally McBeal and made my friends and I say things like “But wait, she’s my age and I always thought I was too young to have a chance with him” and then rethink our lives.

ANYWAY.

Round about the time Star Wars came to life again post-prequels and Harrison Ford found himself back on the Millennium Falcon and having fun, things changed. He started to grin that grin. His eyes twinkled in interviews. He did press tours and seemed like he was, dare I say it, enjoying himself. These days he’s working his ass off because he wants to, and frankly it’s a joy to see.

And that, my friends, is why the trailer that dropped today works. In general, we don’t speak of Crystal Skull. It brought Marion back, and that’s the only good thing there was about it. But Harrison Ford did not play Indy like a man having fun in that film and who can blame him? In Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, Ford looks like he’s having a blast. And Harrison Ford having a good time is sexy as hell, even after all these years. I’ll be there opening night.

Related Posts

Guests and Ghosts: The Horror of Being in Another’s Home

I want to talk about a very specific type of fear. And I’ll do so by starting out with a scene from the 2000 Ben Stiller comedy Meet the Parents.  During his first visit to his longtime girlfriend’s family home, Stiller’s Greg Focker sleeps in late, only to find the entire family well into breakfast. “Hey, look who’s up,” one…
Read More

The Oscars Get It Right

The Oscars happened! You may have heard that there was some shocking event last year, but nothing of the sort took place at this year’s big party, and the result was…well, it was a pretty boring show. But that’s okay, because the awards themselves actually made sense! Nobody egregious won, there were a couple of fantastic comeback stories, and many…
Read More

‘What Josiah Saw’ Is Pure, Unforgiving Southern Gothic 

Southern Gothic is an underrepresented genre in modern horror, most likely because it remains so brutal and transgressive that wider audiences simply aren’t willing to stomach it. What Josiah Saw (2021) embodies this concept, not so much relying on gore and violence to shock viewers, but instead focusing on characters willing to do anything to escape a past they are…
Read More