Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny Can Take My Money Now

Laura J. Burns
Laura J. Burns writes books, writes for TV, and sometimes writes TV based on books and books based on TV. She will never, however, write a poem. She’s the managing editor of The Antagonist.

I’m a Gen X kid. Raiders of the Lost Ark came out when I was a tween (a word that didn’t exist back then) and I saw it 12 times in the theater. Let’s just say that between Han Solo and Indy, Harrison Ford was basically my sexuality as a youngster and pretty much still is.

Did I feel betrayed when Temple of Doom ditched Marion in favor of a blond bimbo as just “the girl” in an Indiana Jones movie? You bet I did! But I still saw that movie several times, I just focused more on Short Round to make it fun. (Shout out to Ke Huy Quan, let’s keep his comeback coming back!)

The Last Crusade had the same problem, only this time “the girl” was even more forgettable, but we got Sean Connery and Harrison Ford grumpily grumping at each other and that’s a win in everybody’s book. After that, though, Harrison Ford went through his cranky years. Not his fun-cranky persona, either, but the real-cranky stuff. The years when he seemed to truly dislike the things that had made him famous because he disliked fame itself. The years when he got divorced and got an earring and married Ally McBeal and made my friends and I say things like “But wait, she’s my age and I always thought I was too young to have a chance with him” and then rethink our lives.

ANYWAY.

Round about the time Star Wars came to life again post-prequels and Harrison Ford found himself back on the Millennium Falcon and having fun, things changed. He started to grin that grin. His eyes twinkled in interviews. He did press tours and seemed like he was, dare I say it, enjoying himself. These days he’s working his ass off because he wants to, and frankly it’s a joy to see.

And that, my friends, is why the trailer that dropped today works. In general, we don’t speak of Crystal Skull. It brought Marion back, and that’s the only good thing there was about it. But Harrison Ford did not play Indy like a man having fun in that film and who can blame him? In Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, Ford looks like he’s having a blast. And Harrison Ford having a good time is sexy as hell, even after all these years. I’ll be there opening night.

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