Christine Baranski is a goddamn national treasure. There is no disagreement on this point. When she appears in a scene, you watch her. Only her, even when she’s not the one speaking. Such is the gravity of her presence, the brilliance of her facial expressions, the depth of her commitment to character. So why, for the love of all that’s holy, is she the least socially engaged character on The Gilded Age?
In the series premiere, Baranski’s Agnes van Rhijn was set up to be the fearsome, snobbish, old money matriarch who would both rule the roost and create deliciously bitchy trouble for her nouveau riche neighbor, Mrs. Russell. But in the five episodes since, Agnes has done little beyond sit on her couch (or at her desk, or in her carriage) and complain. She complains about her dead brother and his insipid daughter who is now her ward. She complains about her sister’s dog and her neighbor’s house and the uppity behavior of the “new people” in New York society. She’s a pill, is what I’m saying.
Because Agnes is played by Christine Baranski, though, the complaining is delightful.
Still, it’s getting boring. That’s not entirely Agnes’s fault–the rest of the characters are a snoozefest. The ostensible main character, Agnes’s niece Marion, is essentially a cardboard cut-out moved from place to place so we can see what the other, more interesting people are doing there. Her friend Peggy has a juicy backstory that she has been refusing to actually tell us for six episodes now. Agnes’s servants have only one characteristic each. Even could-be interesting people like Mrs. Russell and her hot husband quickly grew boring because they just keep having the same conversation over and over. And over. And over. Do we really have to hear–again–that Mrs. Russell is determined to rise in society?
Despite the setup of Agnes being the old money bitch-in-residence, we learn that New York society is actually run by a Mrs. Astor. We see this fearsome creature once in a while. She doesn’t make much of an impression, not nearly the impact we expect given how she’s spoken about, as if she’s Smaug and Manhattan society is her mountain full of gold. Why, when you have Christine Baranski in the cast, would you not cast HER as Mrs. Astor? Imagine the terror she could strike into every heart when she entered the room!
Marion and Mrs. Russell, and even Agnes’s boring sister Ada, go out on walks and travel around the city and attend operas and tea parties and charity meetings and lectures by Clara Barton. There are parties in Newport, Rhode Island and train trips upstate and Mrs. Russell throwing a fete for 200 people that only about 10 show up to. There’s plenty going on, but Agnes is oddly absent from almost all of it. It’s getting hard to believe that she actually has any influence at all–Ada, Marion, Mrs. Russell, Agnes’s other niece Aurora, her son Oscar…the list of people who fear her judgment and wrath is long. But why are they afraid? Agnes barely even leaves her house.
We’re six episodes in. I expected to see a scathing confrontation between Agnes and Mrs. Russell by now. Or Agnes castrating the “adventurer” who’s courting Marion. At the very least, I figured we’d get a scene of Agnes calling on Mrs. Astor to make a plan for ousting these wealthy upstarts from society once and for all.
Instead, when she finally storms out of her house to yell at Mrs. Russell, she does it impulsively (out of character) and all alone (out of character) and inappropriately (absolutely unthinkable). She barges into a luncheon featuring Mrs. Astor’s gatekeeper, the Russells, and two of her own nieces…whereupon she immediately backs down and slinks back home.
I’m sorry, The Gilded Age, but Christine Baranski was not made for backing down or slinking. If you don’t show us Agnes Fucking van Rhijn coldly raining condescending verbal bombs down on everybody soon, you will have completely undermined her character and wasted your most valuable cast member.
Listen. You can still make it up to us. Send Mrs. Astor’s catty gatekeeper, played by Nathan Lane-as-Colonel Sanders, to confront Agnes about her lame-ass intrusion on their luncheon. Let Agnes conspire with him to take down Mrs. Russell, and let their plan involve a lot of Agnes being out at society events. Everyone in America would watch an entire show about these two actors dissecting every other character they see and planning a snobbish, hilarious takeover of Manhattan.
And then put their plan into action and just let motherfucking Christine Baranski go. In every ballroom, in every opera box, at every prissy luncheon. Let her turn them all to stone with her fearsome, old money scornful gaze. We’re waiting.
