The first episode of our weekly pop culture podcast is live for your listening pleasure. Get to know a few of our writers as they cover the Queen’s funeral, The Emmys, cheating pop stars and princes, and a smattering of other pop culture goodies.
Here’s the first episode! Click below or subscribe on Apple Podcasts.
For those who like to read along, the transcript is below.
SPEAKERS
Laura Burns, John Brown Spiers, Orly Minazad, Dustin Waters
Laura Burns 00:14
Hello and welcome to The Antagonist Podcast. This is our first ever podcast and I am here with three of our intrepid writers. My name is Laura Burns, I’m the managing editor of the Antagonist blog and I am joined tonight by Orly Minazad out in California: say hi Orly.
Orly Minazad 00:33
What up what up? Just kidding. I don’t talk like that. You guys we don’t have an editor please be good.
Laura Burns 00:41
Thank you, Orly. We also have John Brown Spiers. Hi John.
John Brown Spiers 00:47
This is the best intro anyone’s ever recorded. It’s going so smoothly. It’s going very well I’m I’m excited about all of this. I’m not normally about to fall asleep by 9:13pm When we’re recording at all I’m wide awake. So this won’t be loopy. This is solid gold already. Let’s keep it going. Come on!
Laura Burns 01:08
Let’s do it. We’re nailing this. We’ve got one more writer, one more writer. We have the one the only Dustin Waters with us. Hey, Dustin!
Dustin Waters 01:16
What up? What up? Everybody
Laura Burns 01:19
You took Orly’s line.
Orly Minazad 01:20
I think you’re supposed to say y’all. Or Howdy.
Dustin Waters 01:23
What up? What up? Y’all howdy.
Orly Minazad 01:26
There you go. It’s more authentic
Laura Burns 01:29
to you to who you are. Well, okay, so we do have an editor and we’ve we’ve told the editor he has to take out everything racist that orally says orally. What are you going to say?
Orly Minazad 01:45
Nothing. I never say anything. What?
Laura Burns 01:49
No, we’re kidding. Okay, so we are the antagonist podcasters. And we are here to talk about what has been going on in pop culture this past week. So I don’t know did anything happen? You guys
John Brown Spiers 02:03
No, because the Queen died two weeks ago. That was a long, long procession. Like I think the Olympic flame takes less time to get across entire countries then that took the Queen to get into the ground.
Laura Burns 02:17
I’m not even sure she’s in the ground yet.
Orly Minazad 02:19
Does she rule in the ground at all? Like what’s the deal? Where does she actually get buried? She’s
Laura Burns 02:25
Is it a crypt? I think it’s a crypt.
John Brown Spiers 02:27
It is a crypt in the what is it called King George the sixth cathedral which is itself inside of St. George’s cathedral. In England.
Laura Burns 02:42
Windsor? Windsor? Windsor. Yeah. And Windsor Castle
John Brown Spiers 02:45
in the castle. So they had a big they had the big like, public, televised I guess mock burial? In insane. Excuse me. Yeah. And St. George’s cathedral. And then I’m assuming after everyone had shuffled out and other dignitaries were gone, and the cameras are off. They just like pop the coffin back up.
Laura Burns 03:12
That’s what it seemed like!
John Brown Spiers 03:13
…right back and took it back. Because it’s the King George Cathedral is inside. So they just like went around to the back of the building and did it for the family. And that’s where she’s actually buried.
Laura Burns 03:26
But do you think that they really did pop the coffin back up, because I’m so fascinated by the fact that they’ve got this thing built into the chapel that literally exists only to slowly sink a monarchs coffin into the crib. So if you’re gonna have that, you might just want to use it a couple of times. Right? But popping her back up.
Dustin Waters 03:45
Here’s my guess. Like, I think it’s one of those like stage risers that like N’Sync used to use. So like, it just goes like maybe six. It just goes like six, seven feet down. And then like someone like just pulls it out, like you do like a like a cowboy swap. So like, I think it goes down. Everybody leaves the room, then they’re like, Okay, let’s pull her out of the back, like an old car battery. And just, you know, take this coffin to where it needs to where its final resting place. Like I feel like it’s for sure that lift system is 100% for show and it’s not like
John Brown Spiers 04:24
bullied. Because that’s not where she’s, that’s not where she’s buried. Yeah, so yeah, you’re right. Yes, totally. For sure.
Laura Burns 04:30
It’s I thought it was just like an elevator that was going down into the crypt level and then from there, they would put it you know, they would have more pallbearers or whatever they’re going to do down there.
John Brown Spiers 04:39
Oh, do you think they’ve got like a like a tunnel network or something like they they lower on and then Oh,
Orly Minazad 04:46
I lost you guys like five minutes ago. And all I’m thinking about after Dustin said N Sync is that they come up and they sing Bye Bye Bye the N’Sync song and I think that we should just So I get in here, I think,
John Brown Spiers 05:02
I don’t think you can even mention that song without having to pay rights? Oh, God, we might already be in trouble.
Orly Minazad 05:10
This was fun while it lasted you guys.
Laura Burns 05:11
Yeah, you know.
John Brown Spiers 05:12
But Orly isn’t isn’t Iran home to the largest cemetery in the world?
Orly Minazad 05:19
Is it?
John Brown Spiers 05:20
I think I didn’t do any research for this podcast. Because that didn’t seem in the spirit of it. But I remember during one of my many Wikipedia binges over the years, I feel like I’ve read that it’s it is in I don’t, I’m not gonna I don’t remember what city but..
Dustin Waters 05:39
So I’ve got Najaf cemetery in Iraq. Oh,
Orly Minazad 05:47
I’m sorry. That’s not my people. Yeah. Although we do love death. So I think like our Persian we love to glorify death and you know, especially Persian Jews, so I wouldn’t be surprised if we did have the largest cemetery. And it was like our Disneyland.
Dustin Waters 06:04
Well, so Orly and I had an exchange earlier where we talked about how people our relations are, our families like to be those the type that during a, you know, a funeral, likes to wail and throw themselves on top of the coffin. I know, my grandmother loved that it was her pastime. Was the was the star of every funeral she was ever at.
Laura Burns 06:32
Did she have to know? Did she have to know the deceased? Or she would just go to funerals? Ah, willy nilly and throw herself in there.
Orly Minazad 06:40
I think it’s more believable if you know them. But it’s not a rule.
Dustin Waters 06:45
Yeah, like, I guess I can’t answer that question. Because I would only be at the funerals if I knew that we were related to the deceased. Yeah, like, it could be that she just was just like a misery tourist. So that’s always a possibility.
Orly Minazad 07:04
I love that phrase, Misery tourists. That’s so funny. It’s completely how 90% of the women in my family are like, they will dress up to go to a funeral. Like they’re about to head to a party, like just going out clubbing. Like I can’t I can’t babysit tonight. I gotta go to a funeral. I’ll see you. I’ll see you. I see you.
John Brown Spiers 07:23
And again, this is people who they knew.
Orly Minazad 07:27
Yeah, for Yeah, it’s mostly people, you know? Yeah.
Laura Burns 07:30
But I don’t know. I mean, the queen had a pretty big shindig. Yeah. And maybe they’re all misery tourists.
Orly Minazad 07:37
Yeah, I would call that a shindig.
Dustin Waters 07:38
So my favorite part of all I paid attention to very little of it. Because it’s so stupid to me that like I pick up the phone, I wake up and I pull a computer. That’s the size of my the palm of my hand. And I immediately have access to every piece of information in the world. And we’re talking about burying a queen in a castle. And I’m just like, I’m like, where are we? What are we doing? But shout out to this one guy saw so they were doing the like they were doing the Queen was lying in state and they were just having like the part where all the common folk could come by and check her out. And you know, that’s where we got the reports people were in line for 14 hours. And you know, she’s guarded by the four, four dudes and the full regalia. Everybody’s got scepters and gold and badges and shit. And like people are walking by in hoodies, and like there was this one guy, there was this one guy spotted. He has on like the full purple and yellow, Minnesota Minnesota Vikings hoodie. And I was I was like, Man, did you Did someone trick you? Like did you not know you were coming to look at the Queen’s dead body?
Laura Burns 09:04
What did you think? Did you think you’re online for something much much better? Much cooler this is this is this
Orly Minazad 09:11
dress is?
John Brown Spiers 09:13
No you go you go. Is this the way this is
Dustin Waters 09:17
the way to the Chunnel?
John Brown Spiers 09:20
Nothing worse than a delayed punchline. Sorry, that was my fault. I went when when I was 14. We moved from from Illinois to Georgia. And we still went to church every Sunday but it kind of died out pretty quickly after we moved. We were we I was raised Catholic and so growing up near Chicago was pretty Catholic heavy community and we always we didn’t like put on our super nicest but you always got dressed up to go to church it was it was a nice you put on something nice you didn’t have we didn’t have like Sunday best but you Never, I was never allowed to wear jeans or anything like casual to church. And after we moved, I don’t know what it was, I don’t know if it was just the different strain of Catholicism in the south, or I was more aware of it because I was getting to be a teenager or what but I noticed a lot more just like people in hoodies and people in jeans and people in like shirts that said things not just like a plain colored shirt or a checkered shirt or something, but like, you know, this stuff you’d wear to school. And it was really good for me ultimately, because that was the the time that I started to drift away from the church. But it was also really jarring in the same way that you’re describing this Minnesota Vikings guy, which is a delightful image. But it was just, it was like, I don’t know, it was like tasty sacrilege. It was the first time that I realized, wait, you, you can do something different and nothing’s gonna happen. Like,
Laura Burns 11:02
God is not going to strike you dead right here.
John Brown Spiers 11:04
At least not right here. Right? Maybe later on, but for now. But yeah, I still I have a lot of that still, it feels like I would not go stand in line for any amount of time to see a monarch or a president or anything like that. But it seems like the kind of occasion where you definitely want to dress up. And yet also, I totally get why that guy was in a Viking’s hoodie, because it was in line all day.
Laura Burns 11:29
It was in line possibly for 24 hours. Yeah, want to be in your comfy clothes? Well, I feel like that used to be there used to be this vague rule. I’m showing my age here, that when you went on a plane, you also should dress your best, you know, again, maybe not your Sunday best in business, you know, business attire, you wanted to look good. And somewhere in my, I want to say late 20s, the culture shifted on that. And everyone started wearing their pajamas on the plane, essentially, you know, people are just in the most comfortable clothing and it it makes absolute sense. But a certain sense of decorum was lost.
Dustin Waters 12:07
Well, so my other thoughts because I thought about this man for just the the entire rest of the day. I was just like I wanted, I wanted his like, like character story. I wanted his full arc. And my thought was okay, so I can’t imagine that there’s a Minnesota Vikings fan. That is in the UK. I know I’ve followed like, But there’s gotta be a handful. Well, but but so my thought was looking at him like he’s got his backpack. He’s got his Minnesota Vikings thing. I was like, Oh, shit, he’s a tourist. And he picked the worst possible time worst, the worst possible time to visit the UK. Oh, cool. Everything’s closed and everyone’s either angry at colonialism, or sad because they love the monarchy. And I was just like, shoot, what do you do? Like, what do you do in that situation? It’s like, call an audible. Go to Northern Ireland. Party your ass off.
John Brown Spiers 13:10
I think it’s the best time to accidentally visit the UK.
Laura Burns 13:13
Yes.
John Brown Spiers 13:13
Okay. Like what more interesting time is there?
Laura Burns 13:16
I mean, it’s historic, and he’s gonna be able to tell that story. He exists on a on a YouTube video somewhere now, in his Minnesota Vikings sweatshirt.
Orly Minazad 13:26
I think he did that part by accident, actually. He didn’t do it on purpose. It’s even more meaningful.
Laura Burns 13:32
Well, I like that. I mean, the queue the queue itself seemed to take on such a mistique, so that I might have gotten in that queue just to be in the queue just to experience it.
Orly Minazad 13:44
Absolutely not. I mean, oh my God my kid asked me if we’re going I’m like I don’t even know like where did we get but no, but also I mean, it she really in that coffin? I was kind of questioning whether they would just put her body there well, people are walking by like I think they could have done that?
Laura Burns 14:07
Well, but because there was also a crown with something like 3000 diamonds on it right on top of that as people were walking by so they you know, I know that those well the guards all had their their weapons pointed down. They had their guard at best. Yeah, there’s there’s there’s spears and their swords had to be pointed toward the floor that apparently is the position of mourning, but um, I was like, Are there snipers though? Up high.
Dustin Waters 14:08
Oh yeah.
Laura Burns 14:10
In case somebody with a backpack comes in just makes a run for the crown. Can you imagine how much fun that would be to watch? Oh, so much fun. I wish that did happen, oh my god.
John Brown Spiers 14:46
How far do you think a person would get before they were tackled like would would the crowd the just like paralyzed with uncertainty and that like did no Did what I think just happened actually just happen or would people start running after-
Laura Burns 15:04
I think people would immediately think people in there would immediately all their, you know, repressed British rage would come out?
John Brown Spiers 15:13
I don’t know. I think there might be some like, I think it would be a lot of confusion because there’d be a lot of repression coming out, but also a lot of admiration. I think people can see a lot of people tripping over themselves.
Orly Minazad 15:27
I know if I’m gonna rob anybody. I want John around for moral support and help.
John Brown Spiers 15:33
Like, I wouldn’t want try to steal that crown, but I would definitely set someone up to, like, convince someone that they could steal the crown to create a diversion so I could steal something else.
Orly Minazad 15:44
I wish that they could steal the crown, because nobody’s gonna shoot a kid right? You just come up with like, Yeah, this is his backpack. We just got here from school. And
John Brown Spiers 15:54
Yeah, that’s good.
Orly Minazad 15:55
Math homework is in there and your $5 billion crown.
John Brown Spiers 15:58
Love actually taught us that Britain’s don’t even when they would be in the right to do so. Yeah, so I think yeah, like, you can’t there’s no point in stealing that crown. You can’t sell it. Who’s gonna buy that crown? It’s like,
Laura Burns 16:19
I think you have to, you know, sell it for parts.
Dustin Waters 16:22
Naw!
Orly Minazad 16:22
Sell it on eBay.
Laura Burns 16:24
Take it apart
Orly Minazad 16:25
…and give it back to whoever it was they stole it from.
Dustin Waters 16:27
I’d wear that shit around my house.
Laura Burns 16:36
yeah, you could pull it off Dustin. Well, I I just like watching it even watching today. Everything. I mean, nobody does a giant pompous ceremony the way the Brits do. And just watching it all I wanted today I was both. It’s like watching ice skating where you don’t want them to fall. But you kind of do want them to fall like you’re just waiting. I was just
John Brown Spiers 17:00
You want the ice skaters to fall?
Laura Burns 17:02
You just Yes. You’re sort of afraid they will. And so you’re just you’re on the knife’s edge. They’re like, will they won’t they? But that’s how I was every time they moved her coffin. Yeah, yeah. Like into into a car off of the cart up the stairs. I was like, What? What would happen if they dropped the coffin and the Queen came flying out? Like could you imagine you you thought could you imagine any better moment of life anymore? Harming momentum? I
Dustin Waters 17:27
You thought they were gonna do a coffin flop. I’ve just full on coffin flop.
Laura Burns 17:31
I did. And but then we would know the answer to Charlie’s question. It’s got it.
Orly Minazad 17:36
Guys, I’m telling you. I don’t know. It’s very questionable.
John Brown Spiers 17:40
It’s gotta have happened at that funerals. Like the odds of it happening at a royal funeral have got to be astronomically small, but it has to have happened… the coffins are heavy. The thing they don’t tell you about coffins is the density a coffin is not an easy thing to carry. If you’re have ever been a pallbearer.
Orly Minazad 18:00
Have you done that?
John Brown Spiers 18:01
I’ve been a pallbearer a few times.
Orly Minazad 18:03
Oh, wow. Okay.
John Brown Spiers 18:03
With like, like for my grandparents. They were old and dried up and not heavy anymore. But that coffin that wood is that that’s oak, that stuff is not easy to move.
Orly Minazad 18:14
You got the expensive shit for your grandparents. Okay. I see you.
John Brown Spiers 18:17
I mean, I didn’t but but yeah, but Well, we we don’t go for pine boxes. I mean, but if you’ve ever if you’ve ever moved firewood pines, not you know, Long Pine slabs aren’t the easiest. But my point is that, yeah, like, you know, you get nerves, you get sweaty palms, you could easily drop up a corner of the Queen’s coffin. Yeah, never fall out. And no, I I can’t think what’s a better live TV moment than that. What’s another hypothetical? I don’t know.
Laura Burns 18:49
That’s what I mean. I was sort of prepared to be absolutely horrified in a gleeful manner. And then it didn’t happen. And I was well,
Orly Minazad 18:56
a better live TV moment would be somebody trying to steal the crown and getting shot. Oh, yeah, that’s true.
Laura Burns 19:01
I think you could actually combine those two. I mean, you could knock the coffin over. And then everyone would be frozen in horror and you grab the crown and you go.
Orly Minazad 19:11
Are British people annoyed that she spent so much money on this. And she’s dead and doesn’t matter?
John Brown Spiers 19:20
I don’t know how much of it is was paid for by the public and court because about what was it was it was 92 I think it was that the that there was the giant fire at Windsor Castle and in order to renovate it and restore everything they had to they had to open it up for public tours and stuff and the queen had to agree to pay income tax. Ah, anybody else does this.
Orly Minazad 19:52
Why do you know so many, like random things, John?
John Brown Spiers 19:57
I don’t think I know that maybe rent I don’t think I know more random things. then anybody
Orly Minazad 20:00
You know so much.
Laura Burns 20:02
Naaaah, does he though?
Orly Minazad 20:05
You know, you probably like just saying whatever. And I’m like, Yeah, that sounds right.
John Brown Spiers 20:09
No, because it was. It was it was. She called it her. Like, Annes Horribles. Yeah.
Laura Burns 20:18
It was. It was something around the time when Diana died and it was
John Brown Spiers 20:22
before that it was it was when Diana was was. She was in the tabloids a lot of privacy was being invaded and she I don’t think she was divorced from Charles yet.
Laura Burns 20:32
Well, but and Charles they were those tapes with Charles talking to Camilla about wanting to live in her knickers.
John Brown Spiers 20:39
Yeah, like it was I don’t remember the chronology of it. But it like 1992 There were like it was just like scandal after scandal after disappointment after scandal for the monarchy. And then at the end of the year, I think it was like a month before the end of the year. There was a big fire at the castle and it gutted a fair portion of it. Like they, they managed to get out a lot of the artwork and a lot of the like the irreplaceable stuff, but a couple of big, like, you know, room size paintings that you couldn’t move easily got were just more lost than a cup, like my antique furniture from the 13th century, and just stuff like that a bunch of it got lost and, and in order to, to pay for all of the extensive work that had to be done afterward. The Queen agreed to I and, you know, again, I don’t remember all the specifics. So I wouldn’t say I’m an expert on this, but there was at least that palace was at least Windsor Castle, and maybe some of the other ones. She agreed that they would become sort of like Downton Abbey, like in order to get this public funding. You have to open up like one weekend a month or something like that.
Laura Burns 22:02
Like for tours.
John Brown Spiers 22:04
Yeah, for tours and for historical purposes. And, and the Queen also agreed that she became the first monarch to pay income tax.
Dustin Waters 22:12
Okay, so here we go on on November 24.
Laura Burns 22:18
Justin will now fact-check, Dustin.
John Brown Spiers 22:19
Was that enough cover for you Dustin? Did I give you cover enough to do silent research?
Dustin Waters 22:22
We’re working in tandem. We’re on November 24 1992. In a speech to mark the Ruby Jubilee of her ascension to the throne Elizabeth called 1992. Her annus horribilis, a Latin phrase meaning horrible year. Anyway, that leads into pretty much everything y’all just covered. But I’d like to add this little bit because the 90s were just a rough time for the royal family. In October 1995, Elizabeth was tricked into a hoax call by a Montreal radio host. Pierre Broussard impersonating Canadian Prime Minister…
Laura Burns 23:02
No!
Dustin Waters 23:04
Elizabeth who will Elizabeth who believed that she was speaking to the not gonna even try that name. The Canadian Prime Minister said she supported Canadian unity and would try to influence Quebec’s referendum on proposals to break away from Canada.
Laura Burns 23:21
Oh, no.
Orly Minazad 23:24
Oh, wow.
Dustin Waters 23:25
To To that I say Viva la de France. Viva Quebec.
John Brown Spiers 23:30
I wonder how you break through Buckingham Palace’s lines of defense and get a call the queen? Yeah. Well done.
Laura Burns 23:42
I know we should hire that guy.
Dustin Waters 23:44
Why is that not a movie?
Laura Burns 23:45
Let’s write it let’s write it
John Brown Spiers 23:47
The Crown hasn’t gotten there yet.
Orly Minazad 23:49
I’ll play the queen.
Laura Burns 23:50
Okay, you’ll be a natural at that.
Orly Minazad 23:55
So can we go and like him yet? We get it, she’s dead. It’s over. But can we talk about each of the Royals? Because okay, I didn’t know anything about any of these people. Honestly, I’m very, very uneducated. But like Dustin was saying you can’t pick up your phone or open anything without all of this information coming at you.
Laura Burns 24:13
Well, what I liked about what Dustin said was he said that, you know, if you’re in England right now, you’re either you’re a monarchist. And so you’re very, very sad or you’re you know, you’re anti colonial and so you’re really, really pissed off. And I thought it was such an interesting and erudite point of view. Because I was like, I think most people in England are really just mad about what Megan Markle is wearing. Why? And, you know, I don’t I honestly, I don’t know why, because there’s been some kind of massive worldwide hate campaign against her, basically. But But also, I just feel like so much of this coverage has been not at all about colonialism, unfortunately, but mostly about how William and Harry are in a fight. And you know, which which woman did this terrible thing and which insult was the biggest one and it’s just absolute nonsense. It’s like watching dynasty.
Orly Minazad 25:02
It is yeah. But can I say, Okay, I don’t know what they’re fighting about. But British people are very boring at fighting. I mean, this is the most boring quote unquote fight I’ve ever seen what’s happening who’s nobody’s yelling at anybody? Like, what’s the situation? I don’t know. No, it’s all subtext. It’s all just, just I don’t get subtext I need violence. I need like, I mean, I don’t know.
Laura Burns 25:28
You need swords drawn. When both princes are allowed to wear their uniform at the casket, their swords out, go for it. That’s what you want.
Orly Minazad 25:38
I mean, they did wear their uniform, right?
Laura Burns 25:40
I know. But there’s no violence.
Orly Minazad 25:43
Yeah, well, there should be. But also okay. Yeah, this Megan thing. I don’t understand. I mean, I thought what she was wearing was ugly. But I don’t think it was an issue like, whatever. Just still fine.
John Brown Spiers 25:53
There’s been a lot of there have been a lot of racist tabloid stories and a lot of racist…
Orly Minazad 26:02
Yeah, super racist. Yeah, that yeah, I’m not surprised.
John Brown Spiers 26:07
Basically, as I understand that, that’s, that’s the reason why there is no reason they just it’s racism.
Orly Minazad 26:13
Yeah, no, they’re definitely racist. But I don’t like her because I think she’s annoying. And well, I think they’re all kind of annoying. I’m sorry. I think they’re all really super useless, annoying people like I don’t like I can’t even like,
Laura Burns 26:30
Orly you are talking about the British Royal Family. I mean,
Orly Minazad 26:33
Yeah, but look also like I get
Laura Burns 26:37
Boring, useless people is sort of their definition.
Orly Minazad 26:39
But also, I think, because I know, there’s a rumor in LA like, there’s a friend of my friends, whatever, like used to date her or whatever. And it’s like this huge thing with she was always just trying to marry big and very for like, name and fame and whatever. So I think she has, I think I have that in the back of my head. Always.
John Brown Spiers 27:00
Yeah well that’s not a crime!
Orly Minazad 27:01
I mean, like, she she’s, yeah, but it’s not a crime, but it’s also like, is she really crying for the queen? Like, why is she pretending like she was such a bitch to her? Like, who cares?
Laura Burns 27:12
I don’t see. I don’t think the Queen was a bitch to her, I think. Oh, I think that William and Kate were pitches to her. I agree. I think that the queen was the one they liked. She might just be crying because she hasn’t seen her baby in like three weeks now.
Orly Minazad 27:26
It could be something else. Yeah. Sure.
Laura Burns 27:28
Where are their kids? She’s got a baby. And they left them here.
Orly Minazad 27:31
Yeah.
John Brown Spiers 27:33
You could just be crying over a horrible situation. I mean,
Orly Minazad 27:37
But it’s not a horrible situation.
John Brown Spiers 27:41
She’s back in a country where they don’t
Orly Minazad 27:44
oh her situation! I thought you met the Queen dying or the horrible situation. She’s
John Brown Spiers 27:50
like, the Queen’s got the queen. She’s she’s she’s in the clear.
Orly Minazad 27:54
So you guys are saying she’s not sitting there crying over the queen. She’s just like thinking about? Yeah, I miss my kids. I’ve been away. And I’m in this place where everybody hates me. And they’re all talking shit about my kids, and whatnot.
Laura Burns 28:07
And everybody is watching me like millions and millions people around the world are watching me.
John Brown Spiers 28:10
It’s overwhelming to say the least. It would I would be having an anxiety attack for sure.
Orly Minazad 28:16
Yeah. But look, you also married into the royal family. What do you think? Come on. You know you’re gonna be in overwhelming situations all the time. Like that’s the life.
Laura Burns 28:29
I think it was I think it was like when Obama was elected president and he thought that he would get the respect that any other president gets and he didn’t realize the virulence of the racism. Yeah. And I think that she and maybe Prince Harry too. I think they didn’t realize how bad how much how much racism there would be.
John Brown Spiers 28:48
Yeah, like they’re still very wealthy, very beloved, very privileged people. But that doesn’t make it easy to have to go and do that to go and be at this funeral. And I mean, this is this is like pure fanfiction at this point. But maybe she couldn’t help but wonder, like, didn’t have to be this way. You know, what, what might have been? What kind of family could I have had? And now completely the only reason I’m here is that there was a death: we’re completely estranged otherwise.
Laura Burns 29:23
Yeah,
Orly Minazad 29:24
I don’t know. I mean, I feel like
John Brown Spiers 29:26
I know it wasn’t bloody enough for you. I’m just I’m trying to. I’m trying to-
Orly Minazad 29:30
No! it’s not blood- Look, Harry knows his family. Okay. I’m sorry. But it’s because okay, what I think kind of annoys me is that, especially and I remember I don’t remember like everything about the Oprah interview, but I do remember her acting like, oh, I had no idea who they were. I didn’t even like Google him. I have no idea who he is. It’s like it’s kind of bullshit. I’m sorry. Harry knows his family. She must have known something but you’re also marrying a prince. Look if I was in her situation, I would have done the exact same thing. Okay, I know that would be racist as fuck to me and I would still be like yeah, let’s do it. Let’s see how this goes! Because I’m marrying a fuckin’ prince, you know? you know yeah but it’s like but I also wouldn’t be like oh and I didn’t know anything and I didn’t know what this was gonna be like it’s like yeah it first of all it’s not a good excuse to not know what this was going to be like of course I mean, Diana wasn’t even Diana was white and they were fucking her shit up like, I mean, this poor woman.
John Brown Spiers 30:09
And that’s the live TV event we needed!
Orly Minazad 30:11
Don’t you think that that was what her thinking was? And that’s what Harry’s thinking was was they’re not going to do that again they learned their lesson from Diana they
Laura Burns 30:26
If they thought that, they’re very stupid. Well, they are stupid, they’ve been inbred for a thousand years!
Orly Minazad 30:44
Well, There you go! They’re not the sharpest tools in the shed. What I’m trying to say is nobody is a victim of anything in this situation. They’re all Royals they all are- look she’s living in fucking a mansion in Montecito. She’s fine. You know, like, for three weeks in England with everybody taking care of you and like, you know, whatever. Okay, I get it. She misses her kids. But as a parent, let me tell you three weeks off to go to a funeral sounds amazing. It does, right? With someone else watching your kids?
Dustin Waters 31:17
Well so here’s a question. So I’ve been completely haven’t paid attention to any of any of that side of it. Are people actually worried about the royal family?
Laura Burns 31:28
Yes.
Orly Minazad 31:29
Yes. Worried in what way? Are they do think like if they’re gonna last?
Dustin Waters 31:34
In? Well, no in any way. Like if they cry on camera, like are people like oh, that’s sucks for them-
Orly Minazad 31:41
Yeah. Oh-
Laura Burns 31:41
Oh Dustin! The whole internet. There’s okay. There’s some sites I read that are absolutely convinced that Megan is, you know, the worst harpy who has ever walked the face of the earth she has destroyed Harry’s life. And she essentially drove the Queen to her death. Because the Queen was so stressed about you know how the estrangement in the family. And it was all because of that Viper, Megan. And then there are some sites where you go and they’re like, Kate is the devil. Megan has never done anything wrong. She’s as pure as the driven snow. And Kate keeps planting vicious rumors about her in the press. And it’s always you know, there’s the sexism because they’re not content with just the racism. There’s also the sexism, they said, it’s a war between Kate and Megan, instead of the estrangement of two brothers. Right?
Dustin Waters 32:33
Well, but Well, there’s that thing, you know, like women all hating on each other.
Laura Burns 32:37
Exactly.
Orly Minazad 32:38
Yeah. I hate Laura?
Laura Burns 32:39
Yeah, well, you know, we despise each other Can’t you hear actually, in our voices. But there’s but and then there are some sites that are, you know, convinced that Megan and Harry are on the verge of divorce, and he’s gonna go back to his family and he will be, you know, taken back into the bosom of the royal family. And then there are other sites that are convinced that that William and Kate are living separate lives already and, you know, are already separated and on the road to divorce as well. Basically, what I’m saying, Dustin, is that everyone’s insane, and the craziness surrounding the royal family is like nothing I’ve ever seen. It’s, it’s so weird, because why?
John Brown Spiers 33:22
Yeah.
Dustin Waters 33:23
Well, it’s on it’s like, the whole thing, if you boil it down to like, the most basic point is weird, because it’s like, a bunch of people that like just married their cousins and covered themselves in jewels. Like, for, for centuries. And like, we’re like, at some point was like, Oh, shit, I need to get a new wife. I’m going to start my own church. Like the this is how this this operating? And it’s like the fact that the in America, we’re like, oh, we should put our flags at half mast.
Laura Burns 34:04
I know.
Orly Minazad 34:04
Yeah. Like, yeah,
Dustin Waters 34:06
It’s madness.
Orly Minazad 34:09
It is. I agree.
Laura Burns 34:11
But I am, I’m more of a traditionalist, I think than you guys. And I’ve always been kind of fond of the royal family and the gossip about it and everything. I think it’s kind of fun. And I love you know, the crown, and I love all the history of it. And that’s what I, I’ve been trying to figure out why I care. And I keep having to go and tell my husband like, this is what happened today. And he says, You’re a moron. Why am I supposed to care about any of this? That’s legitimate point of view. And I realized watching it today, though, it’s because I am kind of a history buff. And I like the history of it. I mean, I was watching so I was watching the live cast today and the BBC commentators were talking about, you know, everything the flowers that were in the bouquet on her casket, and, you know, it was this flower that represents You know, strength and this other flower that represents happiness in marriage. And you know, that flower was taken from a sprig of the tree that was planted from, you know, from the flower in Elizabeth and Phillips wedding bouquet. And I was like, oh, it’s like reading a passage in The Lord of the Rings, readings.
Orly Minazad 35:23
I get it. I get it.
Laura Burns 35:24
But like, Everything has a meaning. And it’s all this, you know, everything is a symbol of nobility or, you know, faith or loyalty or something. And absolutely everything about it is the the castle itself has meaning and it has history and they’re saying, you know, this is where, you know, she’s being buried here. But this is where she was coronated right over here in this chair, you know, things like that. And a lot of the history that they’re talking about also goes back 1000 years. And so I love that stuff. It’s almost like one big painting for me to analyze in an art historical way. You know, I love the history of it. And they are kind of living history. She was, I don’t think the royal family is after her. I think she was living history.
John Brown Spiers 36:06
Well, and that’s why like to answer or to try to answer your question, Dustin, I think that’s part of why people who are concerned for the royal family are concerned for the royal family because it’s, it’s, it’s the national identity like for better or for worse, to a large extent, the British royal family is still a big part of Britain’s identity. It’s hard for a it’s kind of hard for me, I think, for a lot of Americans to wrap our heads around because we don’t have a monarchy and we change. I mean, we change power every few years. Wink, wink, nudge nudge, but it’s different people. Anyway, for the most part, it’s different people. But it’s yeah, like you. Even Even for me, not, you know, observing some of this and not knowing the history. Certainly not to the extent that Laura does. Like I was reading about the discrepancy, I was trying to figure out, okay, she’s being buried in this big public ceremony. This early this morning in America in Eastern Standard Time, but then that’s not where she’s going to be laid to rest the thing we already talked about. And you realize, oh, the chapel the King George the sixth chapel, where she is where the coffins final resting place is. She built that. And it’s named after her father, who king when King George sixth died, she became queen in 1952. Like, she’s going to be buried next to her fight, you know what next to or near wherever the proximity is, but in near her father in the the chapel that she built, partly to honor his memory and partly to house the royal you know, remains like theirs. And that’s just going back 70 years, that’s not even counting the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years. Before that. And it’s it’s I can see where it will get really complicated and difficult to explain whether you’re really familiar with the history or not, I would imagine that even for for Britons who are not royalists, it’s still kind of a complicated thing to try to untangle.
Orly Minazad 38:31
But I mean, is the I mean, by the way, Laura, I think that’s like the really, really great explanation of why you care about it and everything. I definitely see that.
John Brown Spiers 38:39
Yeah.
Orly Minazad 38:39
But is that enough to keep this going, though? Like, it just seems? It’s this drama. And then there’s other actually other people doing all the work and
Laura Burns 38:50
well, and increasingly it feels anachronistic, right? I mean, you watch these men and also Princess Anne was wearing a uniform too, but the for some reason that struck with the men wearing these rather silly looking uniforms, and they look like they’re marching band uniforms. And why are they why are they wearing those, you know, they’re not actually fighting. They’re not leading their troops into battle. They’re not fighting their wars. You know, they’re not like giving the St Crispin’s Day speech. They’re just figureheads. And it’s silly. Is it almost you look at it now you’re like, Oh, they’re playing dress up. It just feels increasingly almost silly to me in the 21st century, but watching it today, I I had this feeling I thought, you know, I feel like it’s a funeral for the 20th century. I feel like Queen Elizabeth was such a stalwart throughout almost the entire 20th century. I mean, from the Second World War when she was a princess all the way through the end, you know, through the millennium. I She was always there and she was always kind of the same. You know, she never changed. She never you never knew her politics. She didn’t really she didn’t sway with the wind. And I feel like with her We’re also burying this entire generation that remembers the War World War Two. And, you know, we’re burying the sort of nobility of our history and all of our wars since then have been really messy. You know, there’s a very clear cut right and wrong to certain degree with World War Two. And we’re, we’re like, that’s the end of this generation. And we’re burying all of that. And I don’t know what the future is going to be. Who knows if there’s even democracy in 20 years, but who knows? If there’s monarchy? I mean, you don’t know. Who knows if the Earth is still functioning? Maybe we’re on Mars, like, who knows? You know, what everything is, is
John Brown Spiers 40:36
The earth will be here? Yeah, we might not be, we might not be but the earth will definitely still be here.
Laura Burns 40:40
Right. So the, but you know, you don’t know where it’s going. And now we’re burying this part of it. So that’s how it felt to me today.
Dustin Waters 40:46
Well, to echo that, I think that’s very well put Laura, I know, my wife and a friend of mine have a close friend in Scotland, born and raised in Scotland. And he described it as this is kind of this is the, how we see. And I mean, we as like a global community, but also, members of the UK, this is kind of the end of what we understand as the monarchy. Like after this, it’s all it’s a new thing. And it’s going to this is going to be you know, if you in the history book, this will be the closing and opening of a new chapter.
Laura Burns 41:35
Yeah. And it feels that way, because I feel like the way we look at the rest of the royal family, you know, Charles has always been a gossip figure more than anything else. And the Queen really wasn’t, you know, I don’t know, I don’t know who to blame for her children. But they the apple fell far from the tree. And you know, I just feel like they’re, they’re so clearly a brand. And they didn’t, they don’t understand their own branding, as well as she did. And I just don’t see without the love and the goodwill that that people had for the queen. I don’t see people continuing their reverence for the monarchy.
Orly Minazad 42:12
So do people like Charles or not British people?
John Brown Spiers 42:15
No, I don’t think so.
Orly Minazad 42:17
So they’re not excited about him being king.
Laura Burns 42:20
I, you know, I feel like this past couple of weeks, there’s been a lot of goodwill just because it’s the spillover of the goodwill toward her, but I don’t
Dustin Waters 42:26
I mean his mom just died.
Laura Burns 42:30
Yeah. Yeah,
John Brown Spiers 42:31
I get the impression that they’re more excited to have a to have a king than that it’s him who’s the king.
Orly Minazad 42:38
I see. Yeah. And do they like Camilla or the resentful to her because of the whole Diana situation?
John Brown Spiers 42:48
We should, we should appreciate that. This is a this is a Persian American woman asking three adult Americans about the impression of a British institution and the British people. This is good.
Orly Minazad 43:03
Because you guys see, first of all, you guys. I did not come here to be moved and educated and you guys are doing both of those things.
Laura Burns 43:10
How dare we!
Orly Minazad 43:11
I want to go back to all the gossip and BS that you know that we shouldn’t be discussing.
Laura Burns 43:19
Well, here’s what here’s what I think because believe it or not, this is supposed to be a podcast about pop culture. And we’re talking about the queen. But what I want to know is what are they going to do on The Crown?
Orly Minazad 43:32
What do you mean? Oh, the show! I’m like what?
Laura Burns 43:36
it’s supposed to it’s supposed to be coming out in what November so the next season and it’s really catching up to modern I mean, it’s catching up to the whole meltdown.
John Brown Spiers 43:47
Where are they now?
Laura Burns 43:49
They are already you know, Charles and Diana are already having trouble and he’s
John Brown Spiers 43:54
Oh really? They’re that far!
Laura Burns 43:56
Yeah,
Orly Minazad 43:57
I did not get into that show. But do you think I should get into it?
Laura Burns 44:01
It’s a very well acted show and well made show.
John Brown Spiers 44:03
You’d like the gossip of it.
Orly Minazad 44:05
Yeah, it’s just really well done and but it’s like slowly paced and at night I really, I’m still on Better Call Saul. Like I get that all
John Brown Spiers 44:16
Ohhhhh Orly. We need to have that that needs to be an episode. I don’t care that it already ended.
Orly Minazad 44:21
Yeah. And if we want to move over to other topics, if we want to I’m not no pressure. We could talk about how they didn’t win any Emmys, and two a new pop culture thing I found today was Adam Levine cheated on his Victoria’s Secret model wife?
Laura Burns 44:40
No. Does he really? Men!
Dustin Waters 44:41
Oh and want to name his their baby after his Yes. What?
Orly Minazad 44:48
His mistress? Yes, his wife was pregnant with their third kid and he wanted to name the kid after his mistress.
Dustin Waters 44:57
Okay, okay, real quick. I can set up a transition.
Laura Burns 45:01
Do it!
Dustin Waters 45:02
Okay, this is our transition from talk of the Queen. The Queen’s death.
Orly Minazad 45:07
Yeah, I’m over it, let’s go!
Dustin Waters 45:09
-in into modern day popular culture. Okay. Okay, so, as we all know, Queen Elizabeth the Second was well known for her love of the Corgi dogs that began in 1933 with the family’s purchase of the first Corgi, whose name was Dookie. Which is awesome. Which is also a Green Day album.
John Brown Spiers 45:33
That that was well done. That was very well done.
Laura Burns 45:37
Bravo.
Dustin Waters 45:37
Right So Adam Levine. Yeah, yeah. How does he I mean, I
Orly Minazad 45:42
don’t know that’s all I had to say about it. I have no idea what’s going on. I made so what
Laura Burns 45:46
Wait, but did his wife say yes to this this horrible thing?
Orly Minazad 45:53
I assume if she had said yes, maybe she didn’t know at the time that he was cheating but I don’t know she’s still pregnant so she has a chance to not name the baby after the woman her
Laura Burns 46:05
husband and so yeah, wow. Wow.
Orly Minazad 46:09
I don’t know but um yeah.
Laura Burns 46:11
But the Emmys so you brought up the the other thing that happened this past week and pop culture, which was the Emmys and I did watch the Emmys?
Orly Minazad 46:18
Yeah, I watched the two and we were watching sort of together.
Laura Burns 46:21
We were and what do you remember anything about it? It was the most boring show ever. I don’t even it’s already gone from my brain.
Orly Minazad 46:28
Yes. All I remember is Better Call Saul not winning anything. Yeah. And me going back and doing some research quote unquote, that they got nominated over the years like 45-46 times
John Brown Spiers 46:42
46!
Orly Minazad 46:43
Is that correct?
John Brown Spiers 46:44
Yes, it is.
Laura Burns 46:45
What do you think that is just someone really have it out for the showrunner or something like why? How would you think so
Orly Minazad 46:51
I think this whole thing is rigged.
John Brown Spiers 46:53
I think that it would be really interesting to get a bunch of people like insiders off the record, and find out how the sausage is made. Like what how do you really win Emmys because I know oh boy, I don’t know anything. I assume some of it has merit. And I feel confident that a lot of it is hobnobbing networking. Maybe not even necessarily anything untoward, like bribes or anything like that. But just like who do you know? How do you get to know him? How do they how do you you know, it’s like any sort of political like backroom deal. How do you how do you win votes? How do you curry favor? What like money do you promise for this project or that project? And in exchange for you know, not not your vote just just keep an open mind? Like that kind of thing? Because Because you I don’t think you go for 46
Laura Burns 47:56
No.
John Brown Spiers 47:56
With a show that beloved and that fucking well made
Laura Burns 48:02
Brilliant
John Brown Spiers 48:04
0 for 46 Unless you have kind of
Laura Burns 48:06
unless there’s a reason
John Brown Spiers 48:07
unless you have a shitty like Emmy, you know PR your any
Laura Burns 48:12
Your Emmy campaign manager sucks.
Orly Minazad 48:14
But wouldn’t somebody say like, Look, you guys I know we’re shady, but it’s gonna look really suspicious if we don’t give an Emmy to this show. Because you know, you just list it.
John Brown Spiers 48:27
I mean, the only people who really know how it works or the people who vote on it, like I suspicious maybe but also like, for me it doesn’t change that it’s a brilliant show. It doesn’t make me want to rewatch it any less. I think it’s really boring when Succession wins everything and I love Succession succession is terrific show but I’m glad that they they got I’m glad that Squid Game one so that was that
Laura Burns 48:54
was fun that was surprising an Abbott Elementary to you know some new things because it is really boring. There was a there was a period of time when Julia Louie Dreyfus won every single year for I think seven years or something. Yeah, it was crazy.
Orly Minazad 49:07
And SNL. I mean, they need to just stop nominating themselves at this point. It’s just yeah, it’s just go go move on.
Dustin Waters 49:16
Here’s the most notable thing from the Emmys for me is when Jimmy Kimmel
Orly Minazad 49:22
Oh yeah,
Dustin Waters 49:24
-Laid-
John Brown Spiers 49:24
I was waiting to see.
Orly Minazad 49:27
I was like, awkward and yeah, like I don’t what did you guys think?
Dustin Waters 49:33
So my thing is I I am of the type where I appreciate when you commit to a bit but not when it’s the least imaginative least funny bit and it like ruins what could possibly be like can you know the culmination of someone’s like, early creative
Laura Burns 49:54
work professional life? Yeah, like was that
Dustin Waters 49:57
like it was just I just remember
Orly Minazad 49:59
You are done.
Dustin Waters 50:00
I was watching it and I was like this isn’t. It’s not that it’s dumb. It’s not that it’s lazy. It’s ugly. There was just ugliness on display of like how you treat other people in your profession. And I know like Jimmy Kimmel did like a whole mea culpa. And like, had
John Brown Spiers 50:21
She was on a couple of nights later.
Dustin Waters 50:23
And like he said, here’s here’s some time to do your full speech and everything but still, that’s like, Oh, I’m, I’m, I’m using my show to make good on this. Like,
Orly Minazad 50:34
I’m amazing.
Laura Burns 50:35
Yeah,
Dustin Waters 50:35
garbage.
Laura Burns 50:36
It was such a power differential, though, too, because it’s either that it was sort of like the two kind of frat guys treating the Emmys as if it were just a big joke. Yeah. When you know, for the people winning these awards, it’s everything. And so, yeah, it was very uncomfortable and ugly is a good word.
Orly Minazad 50:54
It was funny when he dragged him out. Fine. We get a vote. What was the joke that he’s sad that he didn’t win or something, whatever. But then, okay, you’re done. We got to get up and go, right. You gotta win. Either way. Yeah. That your your part is over.
John Brown Spiers 51:09
And Quinta Brunson even kind of like, gave him an out when she came up. And she, like the first thing she said was, you know, something like Jimmy or are you okay? Jimmy? I won. Yeah. And he like, like Dustin, I, I, to a large extent agree with you. Like he he’s definitely committed to the bit. And I can kind of respect that. But also, when she said that he held up a thumb like, when she when she says that, that’s your opportunity to go-
Orly Minazad 51:40
That’s your cue to get the fuck out.
John Brown Spiers 51:41
Yeah, I’m gonna get the fuck off the stage. So you can do your acceptance speech. x
Orly Minazad 51:46
They got the gist of it. Yeah, I mean, I look, I’ve watched that show the Abbott Elementary, and I love that and I’m really, really happy that she won. And I really wish that she got her chance to just like, you really like indulge in that moment without this idiot lying on the ground?
Laura Burns 52:03
Yeah, that was. Yeah. Okay. So at this point in the podcast, we are going to wrap things up because we don’t want to talk everybody’s ears off. But I think that because Dustin did such a masterful job of transitioning us from the Queen to Dookie. Dustin. How would you like to transition us to the end here? How do we wrap this all up in a nice bow?
Dustin Waters 52:30
Well, like the Emmys. I really have my eye on secession. So let’s see what’s next.
Laura Burns 52:40
That’s nice.
John Brown Spiers 52:44
Can I Can I say one thing that that can lead to a topic for future podcast? Do it is about the Emmys as well. The other Abbott Elementary winner because Quinton for writing, Sheryl Lee Ralph, one for Supporting Actress and was clearly stunned. She did not expect to win that award and gave one of the best acceptance speeches that you’ll ever see at any award show. And I think I I think it’s going to be the acceptance speech of the award season. I think the Emmys are the first big award show. And I’m already saying that through every other big award shows up through the Oscars in in late winter, early spring. That will be the speech that everybody’s still like, holy shit. That was a speech for the ages.
Orly Minazad 53:42
Yeah. So she deserved that.
John Brown Spiers 53:44
She totally deserved it. And it was and she’s I mean, Abbott Elementary is a magical show. It’s a fantastic show. Really, really fun. And she’s great and obviously, but I think it will be fun to see if anybody is as like heartfelt, and overwhelmingly powerful and mellifluous. And just like, you know, emotionally charged as that speech that was, that was an amazing speech.
Laura Burns 54:10
It was it was okay, so we’re gonna we’re gonna say that she’s a real queen, and we’re going to end our queen discussion.
Orly Minazad 54:16
Nice.
John Brown Spiers 54:18
Boom.
Laura Burns 54:20
All right. Well, so thank you guys. This has been so much fun. This is the antagonist podcast. And we we are the writers of The Antagonists Blog and you should come and read it. Here all of our wonderful words and our literary stylings at antagonistblog.com. So thank you again to Orly Minazad to John Brown Spiers and to Dustin Waters.
John Brown Spiers 54:45
Thank you, Laura.
Orly Minazad 54:46
Thank you.
Laura Burns 54:47
Good night.
