We’ve all been there. Sometimes you just want to check out and not deal with whatever is coming your way. When this happens to me, I tend to cram salted peanuts into my mouth until I can barely chew or breathe. It takes awhile to soften and chomp the mass into a homogenous slurry, but when I finally do, I swallow it down and temporarily experience a rare sense of accomplishment. I don’t know that I understand the difference between procrastination and taking a break. It’s unhealthy, but I’m either working full-steam or doing everything I can to never work again.
I wish I could find something that I liked to do, so that I could do it while taking a break. I suppose there’s always chores, but that’s just more work!
I was inspired to embark on a journey to discover my own self-care, break-taking routine after hearing John McEnroe narrate a line from the new and final season of Never Have I Ever.
In the scene, Niecy Nash plays Dr. Ryan, therapist to Devi, the show’s main character. Dr. Ryan sits in her office, while taking a lunch break. She’s nibbling food with one hand and flipping pages with the other. Cue McEnroe.
“Devi’s therapist Dr. Ryan had just started her long-awaited break enjoying the two things she liked most: sweet potato fries and the Anthropologie catalog.”
After hearing the line, my viewing companion claimed that the show is the most relatable thing on television. I don’t feel precisely the same way, particularly since the episode featured Devi losing her virginity (not a spoiler—it’s in the name of the episode). But, the next morning, I found myself struggling to name two things that I would most enjoy doing while taking a break. I spiraled into an obsession with designing the perfect break. I felt restricted and then anxious at the self-imposed directive to design a break that maximized the absence of productivity. Where to begin?
The first thing I did, obviously, was watch the intro to Gimme A Break. I used to be able to sing along with Nell Carter. My favorite line was, “What happened to my piece of the cake? Gimme A Break!” I wasn’t familiar with the turn of phrase, and imagined that someone had stolen Nell’s piece of cake. I always thought it was funny. Why would someone want to steal Nell’s piece of cake? You might ask why Nell would allow a piece of cake to go unattended. To that I say you are victim-blaming. Also, if there’s anything you should know about Gimme A Break it’s that Nell is always right and you should always side with Nell.
In my search, I discovered that there were two versions of the Gimme A Break theme song. The original version with my favorite line ran from 1981-1983. An updated version aired between 1983 until the show’s end in 1987. In the first version, an undertone of indignation persists. The singer—Nell—indicates that she has not gotten what she deserves yet, i.e., a break. In the updated version, she sings: “Now I know what it takes,” and “Nothing can get me down,” and “I finally know where I belong.” Essentially, she still needs a break, but has managed to attain a few of them, allowing for intermittent states of rejuvenation.
How did Nell achieve this evolutionary step toward self-care and life-work balance in the summer of 1983? She took that secret to the other side. Now, I’m left to solve the mystery of channeling self-worth, all while tumbling into oscillating states of emotional paralysis and spiritual defeat.
I want what Nell found. She manifested the break she wanted, needed and was owed. She did it on her terms. Even when The Chief was nagging her, she’d look him square in his eyes and tell him that he would have to exercise patience because she was taking a break, one that did not include him, the children or anyone else’s concept of time other than her own.
I should let you know that when I started my search for effective break-taking methods, I intended to conduct a broad survey and refine it to a meticulous study. I was energized, and prepared for personal growth and a healthy leveling up. But I worked too hard on the project and burned out. I never got beyond watching the Gimme A Break intros. I mean, I watched both of them, so you know, now I want to take a break.
I also want a piece of cake like a motherfucker.
