We’re very nearly at the end of Ted Lasso Season 3. Which means we’re quite possibly very nearly at the end of Ted Lasso itself. (Jason Sudeikis remains mum on whether this really is the show’s final season, but both he and the rest of the cast have maintained that they set out to tell a three-season story, so take that for whatever you think it’s worth.)
And this of course further means that we must be very, especially, precariously close to finding out whether the Greyhounds fulfill the Lasso Prophecy and actually Win The Whole Fuckin’ Thing. By which I of course mean top the Premier League table. You know – the way their in-show rivals Manchester City just did in the real-life Premier League.
Real quick though, before I jump into AFC Richmond’s record, let me point out that I think we can all take solace from the real-life West Ham United being absolutely nowhere near the top of the table. As of this writing, they’ve got a record of 11-7-19 [wins-draws-losses], good for a thoroughly Richmondish 40 points and 14th place overall. Sorry, Hammers. Hams? Hammerbarns. I’m going with Hammerbarns. Sorry, Hammerbarns; at least you’re not getting relegated, and better luck next season.
OK – long-overdue editorial aside now completed, let’s go to Beard’s Big White Board!
We learn at the very top of “International Break,” Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 10, that the Greyhounds are quite simply on fire, rolling out their brand of Total Football Is Life all across Britain and smiling their way to victory. It’s been a ten-game (!) winning streak (!!) for Richmond (way to let the pooh-payh flow, fellows), behind some “inspired” play from one Sam Obisanya. (And, presumably, a bunch of other players as well. We just get Sam’s name specifically so it can be that much more devastating when he doesn’t make the Nigerian national team, so we can hate Edwin Akufo that much more when we find out he paid the Nigerian government to keep Sam off the team. For more on this episode, check out our handy-dandy Antagonist recap!)
And so that 10-game winning streak means that Richmond, which was 6-6-3 and mired in a losing streak when last we checked in on them, all of a sudden has 16 (!!!) wins and is streaking toward the top of the table. We don’t know exactly where in the table they are; Ted Lasso hasn’t shown us one since Zava was still on the team. But thanks to that always-helpful whiteboard, we know that with two Ted Lasso episodes to go the Greyhounds are a very healthy 16-7-6: that’s sixteen wins, seven draws, and six losses.
One final note of minor gloat: The team’s (admittedly fictional) 57 points after 29 matches is nearly 50% more than (actually real) West Ham actually has this season and way more than the real West Ham can actually earn. It does seem to be the case that losing streaks and winning streaks and tie streaks are the only way Richmond knows how to play. But if they’re going to be this erratic, at least they’re also consistent about it.
